Ramblings of some dude.
Today, I took my girlfriend to a family dinner so she could meet my parents. Over the dinner, she asked my dad what’s he’s been up to since he retired. He replied, “recreational gynecology, my dear” and gave her a weird wink. FML
— Anonymous
Above all, above everything else; we are not alone.
He felt that his whole life was some kind of dream and he sometimes wondered whose it was and whether they were enjoying it.
— The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Universe (via modernmethadone)
Today, I found out that my colleagues had replaced my email auto-responder with a message saying, “I’m away for two weeks in Brazil. Due to the surgery, when I return, please address me by my new name: Crystal.” FML
— Anonymous
Sounds like every relationship I’ve been in you know. And if that wasn’t love than at least it was entertaining.
Today, my little brother got his crush to go out with him by impressing her with his level 500 FarmVille. This is the next generation. FML
— Anonymous